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Showing posts from May, 2025
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Giant running shoe docks in Port Andratx By our shipping reporter, Sue Peyotte A huge running shoe has sailed into Port Andratx, to the delight of local residents, who will not have to pay IBI for the next three years because of the landing fees. It is believed to be owned by Ike Dangleberry, an American plutocrat Internet entrepreneur who last year announced his intention to trade the shoe in for a more recent model, but instead ended up doing that with his wife. The shoe has luxury sleeping accommodation for 12 guests as well as cots for the 89 crew, who sleep in three shifts. It has its own nuclear-powered submarine and is escorted by a Nimitz-class aircraft carrier. Mr Dangleberry rarely comes ashore, in case some of the estimated 1.5 billion people who have used his company's services ask him for technical support, but please remember to turn on notifications for Mallorca Fake News in case he and his fiancée do decide to sunbathe on Port Andratx's famous 10 x 8 metre beac...
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New visa needed for Britons coming to Mallorca By our made-up content reporter, A. I. Slopp It has been announced that from next year, all British visitors coming to Mallorca will need a special new visa to enter. The MFUKR (Mallorca: Foreigners-from-UK Regulation) visa, as it is known, will cost €200 per person, double for children, and allow the holder to spend up to 21 days on the island. EU citizens, Americans, and all other nationalities will be exempt from the visa, which according to the voices in my head has been introduced specifically to target UK citizens, because everyone in the local government has gone absolutely stark raving mad. It is well-known that spending by British tourists on cocktails with names like "Spunky Donkey" and t-shirts saying "To Do List: Your Mum ✅" account for about 85% of Mallorca's GDP. On the seafront road in Palma Nova yesterday, we asked two British tourists, Baz from Basildon and Carl from Carlisle, what they thought abou...
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 Vote in today's poll: Do you think alien abductions are a big problem in Mallorca? (The buttons don't work, but that really doesn't matter...)