90-in-180 day rule to be discussed by Trump, Putin, Zelenskyy

90-in-180 day rule to be discussed by Trump, Putin, Zelenskyy

By our European affairs correspondent, Pablo Honey

Mallorca Fake News has learned that the post-Brexit rule that allows British visitors to spend no more than 90 days out of any 180 in the Schengen area will be a key item on the table at the forthcoming peace talks between US President Donald Trump, Russian President Vladimir Putin, and Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy, scheduled for Riyadh next month.

A spokesman for President Putin said: "Although the three of us disagree about many things, we are united in our determination to stop British expat news outlets wanging on about this issue, just because one of their editors has a mate with a villa near Mijas that he used to basically live in full-time under the radar. Seriously, if Zelenskyy could just get the nod from Sánchez we would be able to take the place out with a Kinzhal hypersonic missile in under an hour."

President Zelenskyy's spokesperson added: "Hopefully, getting this item off their front pages for good will allow those outlets to concentrate on more important stories, such as the plight of Ukrainian people who have sought sanctuary in Mallorca, or perhaps which former cast member of D-List Celebrity Big Brother 5 has been spotted having a margarita at Big Tone's bar in Santa Ponsa, where MFN readers can get 15% off this week just by showing a copy of this story on their phones."

However, Brussels insiders have warned that President Trump's attitude to the 90-in-180 rule will be key. Said a spokesperson for EU Commission President Ursula von der Leyen: "President Trump appears to be quite a fan of long, rambling, incoherent stories about how the fact that some French politician somewhere asked a question about visa yesterday means that the EU is about to change its entire visa policy to accommodate a few thousand second home owners from the country whose Prime Minister likened the President of France to a concentration camp guard, so it could go either way."


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