Easter tourism is up! And down!

Easter tourism is up! And down!

By our hokey-cokey correspondent, Al Bondigas

Despite the impression that we may have given in exactly half of the articles we have published on the topic for the past month, bemoaning the lack of bookings, visitor numbers to Mallorca were up this Easter. (In the other half of the articles, of course, we told you that bookings were up.)

But if we squint really closely, we can see that there has been a slight drop in the number of 50 to 59 year old visitors from the Czech Republic, following a cancellation by Jan and Tereza Karbanátek of Brno due to a family funeral.

If this trend were to be repeated across other age groups and countries — a possibility for which there is no evidence whatsoever, but it looks scary when we write it like that — then tourism in Mallorca could collapse, leading to riots in the streets. Which would be terrible, but it would give us something to write about.

Join us tomorrow for more meaningless just-so stories about tourism numbers!


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Image
 Vote in today's poll: Do you think alien abductions are a big problem in Mallorca? (The buttons don't work, but that really doesn't matter...)
Read more

Trump deploys National Guard, US Marines to Mallorca

Image
Trump deploys National Guard, US Marines to Mallorca By our rioting correspondent Dee Sobedience US President Donald Trump has announced that he will be deploying the National Guard and the Marine Corps to Palma and other likely Mallorca trouble spots in advance of Sunday's planned demonstrations in favour of better housing, which our editorial staff expect (and, frankly, fervently hope, as we could use some incoming clicks from other English-language outlets) will escalate into unprecedented violence. Trump's actions come as hundreds of thousands of European tourists are cancelling their US holiday plans in favour of somewhere closer to home. Said a White House spokesperson: "People seem to be afraid to come to America right now, so we need to make them afraid to vacation in Europe too. The President is going to level the playing field. And indeed Magaluf too." German Chancellor Friedrich Merz was last night reported to be in crisis talks with senior figures in the T...
Read more

90-in-180 day rule to be discussed by Trump, Putin, Zelenskyy

90-in-180 day rule to be discussed by Trump, Putin, Zelenskyy By our European affairs correspondent, Pablo Honey Mallorca Fake News has learned that the post-Brexit rule that allows British visitors to spend no more than 90 days out of any 180 in the Schengen area will be a key item on the table at the forthcoming peace talks between US President Donald Trump, Russian President Vladimir Putin, and Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy, scheduled for Riyadh next month. A spokesman for President Putin said: "Although the three of us disagree about many things, we are united in our determination to stop British expat news outlets wanging on about this issue, just because one of their editors has a mate with a villa near Mijas that he used to basically live in full-time under the radar. Seriously, if Zelenskyy could just get the nod from Sánchez we would be able to take the place out with a Kinzhal hypersonic missile in under an hour." President Zelenskyy's spokesperson add...
Read more